Dad

Two years ago today - it was two years ago today that Dad died. It was a sunny but blustery day - complete with snow on the ground and swirling winds. Today Sara and I drove down to Columbus to visit my grandmother (Sara's great-grandmother), we saw the older of Dad's two younger sister's - and we drove by the house Dad spent most of his growing up years in, the family farm where I've spent countless hours - it just seemed like the thing to do, especially today.

It's hard to believe it's been two years. In some ways it seems like a lifetime ago - and yet I expect him to come walking through my front door, cocktail in hand saying "Nanc"..... As much as my father could make me absolutely nutz I would give most anything to share more time with him. My comfort is knowing that he and Mom are together again, she really was his soul mate and his soul was fractured after Mom died, though he would never talk about it - at least with us kids.

Dad was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, yet it was rare you'd hear him admit he was 'wrong' about something - which could get a little annoying to the rest of us. As I got older, a little smarter, and more patient, I realized Dad was a product of his upbringing, gene pool, and the time he lived in....not excuses, just reality.

Of the three of us I probably locked horns with my father most often from my teenage years on into adulthood, (though my brother could give me a run for the money sometimes!). Though those weren't the most enjoyable parts of my life - they were definitely learning times. The last few years of Dad's life we were able to interact with each other more as adults...but let there be no doubt I was always THE kid!!!!! Dad learned that his oldest daughter was pretty smart and could navigate around the medical community with pretty good efficiency - and I think he realized that even though I do have an emotional side, I'm not driven by my emotions - at least not in most cases.

Dad and Mom would be pleased that my brother, sister and I have managed to hang together and continue to be an active part of each others life - that's the way they would want it, and it's hard to imagine life being any other way.

Yeah, it's really hard to believe Dad died two years ago today - I miss you and love you Dad, we all miss you.

Back in the saddle....

One short week ago I was walking white sandy beaches with temperatures in the 80's and a bright sun, lounging by the Caribbean or laying by a refreshing pool, sipping on drinks with little umbrellas in them and the people around me couldn't do enough to make me happy..... Now, I'm back in middle America there are close to 18" of snow on the ground, yesterday it didn't make it to 20, if I'm not careful I'll land on my bum while trying to navigate the snow covered sidewalks/parking lots...and my happiness is not at the top of anyones priority list. Welcome Home!!!!!

My 10 day adventure to San Juan and the southern Caribbean was really a little slice of heaven. It is the first real vacation I've had in a very long time...where I didn't have to do anything; be anywhere; make any kind of decision aside from what I wanted to eat off the dinner menu/what wine I wanted/or little umbrella drink I wanted. I didn't open my day planner one time while I was gone, and though I usually wore my watch or had it in my beach bag, it didn't really matter what time it was (of course with the exception of being back on the ship before it left...and that I was on time for my dinner seating!). Amy and I went on a New England vacation about 5-6 years ago - but that was colored by the fact that we had just found out about our mother's cancer - it was a 'presence' even though the two of us didn't talk about it....the proverbial 'elephant in the room'.

I feel like I came home a much happier, rested, and more relaxed person than I was when I left - and hopefully I'm not as grumpy and impatient as I was before I left. Lesson learned....get away for even a few days with some regularity, especially while there are household upheavals - for everyone's sake!

The southern Caribbean is really quite beautiful. Last Saturday Becki and I had lunch on the top of a mountain (we took a tram up and down) - with all outside seating, it overlooked the bay of St. Thomas and it was just spectacular...and they made a great chef salad! I decided I could take this cruise again and be happy never getting off the boat - just enjoying all the sunshine and relaxation.

So, now it's back to reality - to get back in the saddle! Today Sara and I are hanging out together - it just amazes me how a little person can just make my heart soar. Spent time yesterday on some church projects. Really, I'm easing back into life....I was smart enough not to schedule anything this week!!