It's a week (well almost) after Christmas, when all through the house, the hammers are pounding and the saws are sawing, and electricians and plumbers are working without a single grouse!

The roofers wanted to start on New Year's day, but this homeowner said 'iksney'!

As if this isn't enough, the earth movers and cement trucks are are at it next door, and the interior walls are tumbling down too so that your can look from the kitchen to the living room - straight through.

OK...enough of the home construction version of 'The Night Before Christmas'! Suffice it to say that things seem to be firing on all cylinders here and next door...finally! Was up in the attic/master suite last night giving the flashlight tour (currently no electricity up there) to my uncle and his wife from Chicago and almost stepped through the floor/ceiling of the bathroom....some planks have been removed to 'rough in' the plumbing...they're also working on the HVAC and electrical.

And so it goes...................

"Y".....

....the most popular word in my house right now can be boiled down to a singular letter "Y". My three year old niece is all about the 'Y' right now...and when she is not speaking that particular letter, most everything she says is in question form!!!

When talking about this with my dad's brother, "Uncle Paul" he suggested there is but one answer for that question...."Y" not!!! I have experimented with that response and actually, it is fairly effective - she has no clue what to do with that question!

We had a great Christmas here..."Y" you ask...because the three year old had an amazing Christmas - a doll house, dolly, art cart, chimes....all perfection when you're living in the realm of being three!

All the adults and teenagers had a good Christmas too, "Y" is that - everything fits or is something that I needed/wanted, and a couple of surprises. It's always nice when what you give and get are 'on the money'.

So, all is fairly quiet in the land of "Y" - the inquisitor is sleeping..."Y"....because asking questions is tiring work!

Really....?????

Having been a nurse for almost 30 years I'm familiar that different professions have their own 'lingo'. With the current construction project going on in my attic I'm learning that the construction trades certainly have a 'lingo' all their own....and when people have a conversation with me, they look at me and start talking like I REALLY know what they are really saying, when they are speaking this 'language'. REALLY????

Now, the 'lead guy' of the team just came down and told me they were going to need to get into my closet to run the "chase" down to the basement...it involves a three inch pipe - so I'm assuming it revolves around plumbing....really???? He wondered if 'how much I would need to move out of my closet...are you kidding me....REALLY????? Storage space is down to a bear minimum, what do they really think my closet is empty...REALLY???

I've made it a policy not to venture upstairs on any regular basis....but as Sara says, "dair rewee noisee up dair!" - and that they are! The plumbing is suppose to be done this week, that is the 'rough in'...OK, I think I can figure that out too...but, REALLY?!?!?!?! Then there is something fairly straight forward on deck for next week...the HVAC...now do you know what that is....REALLY!!!!

So, the question is, do I continue to look at people and engage with them like I REALLY know what they are talking about - or just fess up when I am clueless and feel like the proverbial deer in the headlights?!?!?! Really..............

Construction, Destruction, and Christmas...

Yes indeedy, it is true the construction is ongoing...and it occurs simultaneously with destruction. Out with the old, in with the new as that old saying goes. Monday through Friday sitting in my living room it pretty much sounds like a war zone up above - thank God those are sturdy hardwood floors up there!!!

And yes, have I mentioned the giant hole that was once the northeast corner/roof of my house?!?!?! Actually, they have 'framed in' what will be the dormer on the north side of the house, it will run the full length of what will be the bathroom. I didn't fully appreciate the gravity of the situation until I came home from the store one day this week, and oh my gosh - thank goodness no one else was on the street!!!

Last week was spent selecting tile, granite, flooring, sinks, toilets, and ordering my dream tub...in addition to everything else!!! For the record - think subway tile/white, mosaic floor tile/black and white, beautiful 'ice' granite, 1940's style sinks w/a toilet that 'matches, an air jet tub w/heated backs, and hardwood pre-distressed maple floors.....the number of choices is crazy. Also, with the cabinet guy and my designer I helped design a custom piece of furniture that is going to be in the bathroom for storage. I'm told I still have 'lighting' to select - as well as 'knobs'....this really takes on a life of it's own.

Today was spent driving to Lafayette to cut down a Christmas tree - Rob cut it down, and now with the star affixed to the top only a few inches away from my 8" ceiling, it stands proudly in the corner of my living room....with the white lights twinkling!!! Tomorrow will be decorating day....Sara is so completely jazzed about this Christmas, it is something - and so much fun!!!! Tomorrow will also be a day to start baking cookies for Santa - and Santa rocks, especially when you're three...but technically Amy started the Christmas baking tonight!!!

Ahhhhhhh.......tis the season!

Think Pink and Purple!!!

I'm not exactly sure how it happens...every year it happens....that suddenly almost inexplicably it becomes December 1 and the world explodes. Granted, Thanksgiving was late this year and pretty much, right after Thanksgiving it was indeed December 1...but still, it never really seems to matter when Thanksgiving comes.

The first full week is occupied with more important 'things' than Christmas preparations and Christmas hoopla....my brothers triplets (who are truly amazing...and they still are at 16!) have their birthday and then 4 days later my sisters' daughter has her birthday...she's going to be 'free' tomorrow!!! Throw in my brother-in-laws birthday and remembering my Dad on his birthday on the 15th - well, you get the idea. It's a jam packed month before you even start considering Christmas.

So tomorrow, it is going to throw up pick and purple at my house. My niece is quite enamoured with fairies, especially Tinkerbell...it's all Tink all the time around here!!! My sister has done her usual amazing job of planning and pulling things off - she's made pink and purple bunting to hang. made star/flower cookies and glazed them with either pink, purple, or white glaze, then put a little gum drop in the middle...very cute. The cupcakes are to be frosted with cream cheese frosting and she has cut out fondant in the shape of flowers to decorate them with...again in pink or purple.

We just did a head count and there will be 15 adults and 9 children here....we will all be cozy, but as long as my niece has an amazing birthday I don't really care how many people are here!!! My contribution to the party is that I'm making goodie bags with chocolates, peppermint candy canes, and a jingly bell. These bags are going to be distributed to all of Sara's guests by the big guy himself, that's right Santa is coming. Sara wrote him a letter and invited him....and he's coming!!! It should be something...I say she's going to be speechless, and let me say....that is saying something!!!!!

Even though there was snow in the air today and we had some accumulation - it has to be pink and purple before it cane be evergreen green and red!!!

Giving Thanks

Here it is, Thanksgiving evening, all is quiet - well, except for the occasional cat growl, hiss, and/or whine, depending on which of the 7 felines currently residing here is expressing their dislike of something that one of the other of the four-legged creatures has done around here....Sara isn't here right now, so it can't be her fault!!!

Today, like many of the two most major holidays (Thanksgiving and Christmas, in my world) I found myself headed south - to the family farm, where my grandmother, our Grammy still lives....even though today she is on the acute rehab until of the hospital recovering from her broken hip. I found the all Christmas music, all the time local radio station (quite by accident) and that music was playing softly in the background.

As I barreled down I65 my brain was something of a movie reel, recalling those hundreds of times I've made this trip - car trips when I was just a little girl; how my brother and I use to make sport of 'picking' at each other for the entire trip making our parents crazy; how we use to have to drive down US 31 until the 'interstate' was built; remembering the last Thanksgiving my mother went to Columbus, her very last Thanksgiving was spent in a hospital; remembering the last Thanksgiving Dad was alive - it was right after finding out he had multiple metastatic brain tumors, and I remember what an unusually quiet trip it was that day - we all knew (in our hearts) this would be Dad's last Thanksgiving with us.....the next thing I knew it was time to 'cut across the country side' on the rural roads to get to my grandmothers - and the corn fields were picked, and most plowed, and there were a couple of fields where the winter wheat is beginning to peek through....and I remembered some of Dad's agronomy tutorials - during the many trips we made across those roads.

All this to say, the real essence of Thanksgiving became clear to me - all that I have to thankful for, and the richly blessed life that I am allowed to live. Really, I have very little to complain about, though I can usually find something at least once a day....which isn't something I'm proud of.

The last 11 years or so have taught me that the most important 'things' in life, really aren't 'thing's or the 'stuff' I have - what really matters are those that are priceless. The list isn't exhaustive, to be sure, but here is the 2009 edition of what I'm thankful for...what is really important in my life:

- God, and living in a country where I am free to worship and express my faith
- having parents who often loved me in spite of myself, and taught me what 'family' is, and means
- parents who may be gone physically, but, whose lessons I still seem to be learning
- a husband who died too young, but taught me what love is, and the deepest love is often difficult
- CJ and Amy
- Sharon and Rob
- the triplets, Kelli and Beaux, and Tony
- Sara Hope
- my large extended family, especially my grandmother and aunts and uncles
- my very smart, funny, and loyal friends
- my step-children and their spouses
- amazing grandchildren
- the gleeful laugh of an almost three year old
- Tinkerbell and the joy 'she' brings to a little girl
- living in a place where I get to enjoy the changing seasons
- living in a country where I can speak my mind, express my thoughts, and move about as I choose
- having a warm, safe, comfortable home to live in...that will be getting 'bigger' soon...hopefully!
- living in a time and place where medical care is accessible and the quality is good
- the opportunity to learn something every day
- laughter - especially in challenging and 'difficult' situations
- cardinals and how their bright red color brightens even the bleakest fall or winter day
- every day, really God's daily gift

I like to think that daily I am a grateful, thankful person - but somehow, Thanksgiving brings it in to sharp focus for me...and though it does sound corny, really being thankful needs to be something I'm more intentional about, everyday.

Hospitals and Retail Therapy

First, nobody has to be a smarty pants and point out to me this is three posts in less than a week - maybe, just maybe I'm getting the hang of this, at long last. Though when I was in Texas our oldest got me all signed up with 'Facebook' so I could go there....are you kidding me...I've barely figured this out!!! But, who knows, maybe I'll really develop my cyber-skills!!!

Well, yesterday morning my sister and I packed up and headed to the hospital - to get eyes on my grandmother's unfolding situation. Since my brother-in-laws mother is in town, we could go and leave the two year old at home (which allowed my sister the option to make the trip!)...the two year old, Sara, is all about the 'adventure'; but really I'm not sure that any of the rest of us were up for a hospital adventure with her.

After getting in the general vicinity of the community where my grandmother lives/the hospital we stopped for some lunch. Had a nice cuppa soup and half of my hamburger....needed to use the lew before we left....oh my gosh, you could almost see your breath in there is was so cold, it was nutz. I had a little chill, thought it was because it was like Antarctica in that bathroom - so after packing up leftovers from our lunch, be skedaddled to the hospital.

This regional community hospital has 'free' valet parking...and for the record, it really is 'free'!!! Since it literally was freezin' cold yesterday and I'm due for an infusion in just a couple of days, and it really was 'free' we had this fresh faced young man (really, could he possibly have a drivers license???) park my car. As we walked in the front door we glanced up and who should be see walking across the second floor...all of our family walking... So the youngest aunt (a couple of years my senior) waited on us, and guided us to our grandmother's room.

We hung out for about an hour and then she made her entrance. My grandmother is a very dignified, proper woman - I've never heard her utter a curse word, I'm not even sure she knows what they are to even think them! She will wear pants - after all she has been the sole caretaker of the family farmhouse - you know, ladders to climb, cabinets to climb on, gutters to clean....and I'm NOT kidding!!! Well, let's just say, I'm glad that my grandmother probably won't remember yesterday - she was miserable. After a hip replacement they put this giant triangular pillow between your legs to keep your hips in 'proper alignment - this has to feel 'awkward' if not uncomfortable. Add into this she had/has a catheter, had just laid on a hard uncomfortable operating table for several hours, and that she's 94 (hello...94!!!) and has osteoporosis (her picture is by the word in the dictionary) - she had to be uncomfortable. Add to this litany of woes the fact that she is deaf as a door knob without her hearing aides and needs glasses (have I mentioned, she's 94) - she was just generally miserable - and there was no making it better, or convincing her it was going to be better....she just wanted the pillow and catheter gone - and to go home!!! Simple, huh?!?!?!?

I personally, was lobbying hard for some pain meds, from the get go. She may say she's not in 'pain' (that's really hard to believe, since she'd just had her femur sawed on and screwed into) - but if nothing else, she wouldn't be restless. Let's just say the tiny about of medication they gave her - which did knock her out, was barely a whif!!! But, it made her more comfortable - and therefore helped the rest of us feel a little bit better about life - at least for a few minutes.

Throughout these several hours I visited the ladies room several times....let's say the chill I had at the restaurant wasn't entirely because the temperature in there was igloo like. I needed to get going (in more ways than one....my kingdom for a Sprite) - and Amy really wanted to 'hit' the outlet mall that is down there.

So, off we were...only to be weigh laid by the fact that the 'valet' who parked my car was no longer on duty and there was no one else in sight. So, I checked with the lady at the front desk (it was her first day - I'm not kidding, I can't make this stuff up), and eventually she tracked down the right person...of course, there had been a 'change in shifts'!!!

Then it was off to the outlet mall for a little retail therapy!!! My niece is the beneficiary of some really, really cute clothes. Amy bought her daughter her Christmas ensemble complete with hat and purse, her Christmas Eve/morning jammies, and a couple of other cute outfits. I too got Sara some cutie clothes and leggings! And then, Amy and I each got our selves a few things, I got a pretty sweater and a blouse/sweater vest combo...Amy got pants, sweaters, shirts (she needed more clothes than me!).

Finally we headed home - I got my coveted Sprite. As a bonus I was able to buy gas for $1.54/gallon - it almost feels like stealing!!!!

Today - I've been laying low and taking it easy...kind of a nice change of pace.

Thanksgiving

I am about as "all American" as it comes. No, I'm not overly crazy about baseball (it's like watching paint dry) - but I do love football...think pointy ended ball, the Indianapolis Colts, etc and you've got the picture. I love hot dogs and chips, an icy cold Diet Coke, the Fourth of July, and John Phillip Sousa.

Now, it doesn't get much more 'American' than Thanksgiving - Pilgrims, Plymouth Rock, the Maria, Pinta, and Santa Maria And really who doesn't love a perfectly cooked turkey; a mound of mashed spuds with a heaping spoonful of homemade noodles nestled down in the taters; fresh cranberry salad; and, a piece of my mother's famous pumpkin cream cheese pie - followed by the obligatory carbohydrate coma?!?!?!?!! Certainly, not me - I love it all.

My whole life we have literally traveled over the river and through the wood (though the wood has shrunk considerably!) to grandmother's house for Thanksgiving dinner. It is my father's mother, and it is the house her father built - we like our 'roots' in my family! It is a wonderful old farm house, and when I'm there I often think, 'if these walls could talk'......

Well today, in the midst of the pre-Thanksgiving, pre-Christmas insanity I get a phone call from my sister-in-law....who just doesn't call to chat, especially during the work day. Thought everyone who needed my new e-mail address had gotten it....well, evidently not. Seems one of my cousins, my uncle's daughter tried to e-mail me and it got 'bounced back'....long story short, my 94 year old grandmother was en route to the hospital, seems she has fractured her femur and is going to need surgery. Look, nobody wants a 94 year old to have surgery...not doctors or nurses or families....AND certainly not my grandmother. But, really there is nothing 'elective' about this - so that eliminates all the head scratching and questioning about whether something 'should' be done...depending on your perspective, I guess this is could be a 'good' thing.

Historically Thanksgiving is kind of a dicey time in my universe for health issues....my father, with all his 'big' cancer announcements occurred around Thanksgiving, usually right before - when mom got sick, Thanksgiving was a disaster, she was in the hospital, and I've had my own health issues at this time of year....we just don't seem to have good Thanksgiving 'mojo'.

People who know me know I've developed the philosophy of 'don't going looking for trouble, trouble will find you soon enough' - it just really is a fact . But, that being said, I've had a 'feeling' for awhile about my grandmother and this holiday season (to cap it off, my sister tells me this afternoon she had been 'thinking' about our grandmother and Thanksgiving) - I didn't have a 'good' reason to have 'a feeling', but I did. And just for the record, my 'feeling(s)' are notoriously right.

So anyway, there you have it. She is a strong and somewhat cantankerous woman - she's going to have surgery tomorrow morning and I'm sure she will be fine...it may slow her down a little bit, but it's OK, she's earned the right....she won't like it....oh well.....

As 'All-American' as I am, I do have some 'issues' with Thanksgiving - I might pardon all those turkeys given the chance!!! (Does anyone but me remember the WKRP episode when they did the 'Thanksgiving promo' and dropped turkeys from a helicopter.....turkeys can't fly!!!)

OK...so I'm not great at this....

OK, so I'm not great at this blogging stuff...let's say, inconsistent - OK!!!

Who would think that the life of a middle-aged woman (and that's all I'm willing to concede to!) would be of any interest, but, I guess it is to a few!

You know it's been a month...my sister, her husband and two year old have been here now for a month (really, I'm not exactly sure how long it's been, but I'm certain, it's been a month), they finally finished installing my railings this morning - on the back steps, and I'm inching ever closer to getting the required building permits so they can renovate my attic...talk about bureaucratic red tape and paper pushers....really, you don't want to get me started, it just isn't very pretty!!!

Just returned from a trip to Texas. The granddaughters are all amazing and smart and beautiful - and now there is a little man in the mix...Maverick (what can I say, they live in Texas!!!) - but, I think it's a name that will suit him just fine. He is a handsome little man, and has really only one little 'quirk'....really for this family, it's not so 'little' - he detests, hates, loathes, car rides - and I'm here to tell you, he wants his whole world, and the rest of the universe to know it!!!! His mother took him to the MD this Monday before I left and asked the pediatrician about this little 'quirk' and if there was anything that she could do about it...the answer was simple an concise...."stay home". OK...so, you need to be ready for the answer when you ask the question - that's really not the help our daughter was looking for - so I guess, 'go with it' for the foreseeable future is the 'solution'!!!

While in Texas I got to celebrate my first Christmas of the year - complete with Christmas tree, decorations, candles - it was great. And, it is the first Christmas I've 'been there' in person when everyone opened their presents - it was a lot of fun. The award for 'best present' seemed to go to the body pillow I got Isabel - the oldest granddaughter....everyone wanted a piece of the pillow and Isabel was really having none of it - at least not yet!!! Had I only known!!! The Nintendo DS clothes designing game also seemed to be a hit - as well as the decorate it yourself messenger bag I got Jill/granddaughter #2....and Maya/granddaughter #3 really liked the baby doll. Little Mav - as long as he didn't have to ride in a car, he loved it all!!!

Sara, the amazing two year old (soon to be three) niece continues to be amazing and mystifying and amazing...have I mentioned amazing?? That little stinker (and she is!!) has me so wrapped around her tiny little, little finger - she just holds my heart in her hand.

Today I saw my first snow flakes, they were teeny tiny, and certainly not going to stick - but it was nice to see them. I am a mid-western girl at heart - I love the changing seasons and all that the seasons bring....although, given the choice I would 'opt out' of the sweltering, thick with humidity summer time.

So, now it is getting to be that 'ho-ho-ho' time of year. Since both Mom and Dad have now been gone for more than a year it doesn't feel quite as searing, to go through these family seasons without them, but they are missed - by me and I think my brother and sister too. It will be a little 'odd' again this year - since Amy and her family are going to be here for Christmas - and no one will be 'at home', where we all grew up....but, maybe it is a blessing in disguise, to have a true 'break' and then Amy and her family and our whole family will begin new traditions...that's what I'm going with!

I have errands to run, that I 'forgot' about when I was out earlier - and I think they will just have to wait until tomorrow when I go out to get my hair cut...there is a chill in the air, and it is wonderful.

Big Toes, Kitties...and, life

I just gotta laugh - really being frustrated and/or annoyed just doesn't do any good, so laughing, it is my best option!!!

Waking up the morning was yet another adventure in living!!! There I am, all cuddled into my nice 600 thread count sheets, under my nice warm down comforter, snoozing peacefully....when, all of a sudden there is this odd yet certain sensation - someone is pulling a my big toe!!! I think what initially startled me was the fact that the pulling of the big toe was a 'prank' my father enjoyed pulling, which was closely followed by a booming "rise and shine"....Dad was so the morning person - for those of us who like a few minutes to cozy up to a new day, and if at all possible ingest some coffee as soon as possible - this awakening by Dad could be a rude one!!!! But this morning, my toe tug was closely followed by "ANCEE....oh ANCEE....you wake?!?!?!?!". Now, I wanted to say - 'I am now'....but really, what effect will this have on a two year old?!?!?!? And again, being awakened by that sweet voice isn't all bad - really, it's kind of nice.....but, if she could push up her alarm time a little, Aunt Pants wouldn't mind at all!!!!

So, being the self respecting person I am, I went to retrieve a cuppa joe....to be greeted by my all too perky sister (and trust me, she doesn't wake up that way!) telling me that the coffee, well, she didn't check it, and it was left over from yesterday. Ahhh....foiled again. So, I set about cleaning up the the kitchen sink sufficiently to satisfy me - I have this thing about stuff in the kitchen sink - and making a pot 'o coffee. So, I set about getting ready for the day and then went and got some coffee.

Like most people these days I started to sit down and check my e-mail; but, then remembered I hadn't made my bed yet - so I returned to the boudoir to make the bed. I grab the edge of the quilt and am met by a troubling sensation....wetness. ARGH............... Now, I know yesterday I detailed the human move in....but did I mention four cats are part of the deal....I didn't think so. Well, Pete, my sister's original cat, has a history of making his feelings known about situations he's not all together happy with...he expresses those feelings by depositing his various types of excrement in quite inappropriate places. Yesterday the deposit was on my 2 year old nieces' bed - today - it was me....ah....just frickin', frackin' perfect!!!! Pete, he's mad at the wrong person - I'm here to be his friend, doesn't he understand that....I know, he's a cat - he's an animal!!!! Ahhhhh................

Now, I know, you've got to be thinking - enough already.....well, not so!!!! Before putting the two year old down for a nap I gather up her peed upon down comforter to take to the dry cleaners, not five minutes from the house. Well, I get there and start walking though the door and TRIP over the threshold - in all my glory, and go sprawling headlong into the store, being pulled out of my flip flops, my handful of keys going one way, and the peed on comforter protecting me from smacking my face and probably smashing my glasses....the expensive pair!!!! The girl behind the counter peers over and says..."are you alright?" - ARE YOU KIDDING ME - of course I answered, "I'm fine", after all, I do have some pride! Tomorrow I should have some award winning bruises!

So it goes....just another day in the life of your average middle aged woman!

New Normal....

Have I mentioned before that I think 'normal' is way overrated, if it even exists?!?!?! Really, somebody tell me what 'normal' is and why it is so freakin' terrific!!!! In medicine 'normal' can't really be nailed down - there is always a 'range' of what normal is....normal - it's like trying to nail jello to the wall - lotsa luck!!!!

Yesterday was D-Day around here! My sister and her family officially 'moved in' - really except for sleeping and the adult contingent showering everyone had relocated here - I'm not exactly sure when that happened.....it just seems 'normal' now!!! So, the beds, and shoes, and clothes, and cosmetics, and medications, and......is here, and I know there has to be some more to come. So - there is now a new 'normal' here, and I'm great with it....but it will be an adjustment for everyone. Bless my sisters' heart - since she and her family moved in with Dad about 2.5 years ago I'm sure she feels like 'normal' isn't even part of the English language - that is something she has to be anxious to define when their house is done. My sister, she's one that likes some order in her chaos (I'm not finger pointing, I'm built the same way) - and for the last couple of years, order has been a pretty illusive commodity....so let the excavation and building begin!!!!

This morning I realized there was a whole new normal....I awoke to the sounds of a little baby doll stroller rolling across my hardwood floors and hearing my almost three year old niece say 'Ancy...you wake up????' Really, not such a terrible way to wake up, she had such a sweet little voice!

Living situations are changing...and the seasons are changing here in Indiana....my favorite season, fall time. The leaves are starting to turn - blazing red, sunset orange, speckled yellow - the corn is being picked, and where it is not picked are the corn sheaves ready to give up their bounty. Though we seem to be in the midst of Indian Summer, the air is drier and the nights are crisp and cool - ah....fall time.

So, yeah - it is affirmed once again - "normal" it is way overrated!

The Trouble with Time...

When I was a kid, I would complain to my mother that time just dragged on - you had to wait 'forever' for the 'good things' in life and the 'bad things' seemed to last forever. Mom, in her own way would explain that my perception wasn't really right, and one day (in what seemed 'forever' away) it would seem like time went to fast.... My mother was so right - about this and most other things and life lessons that she taught me in my first 48 years of life. The days just seem to slip though my fingers - it feels like trying to hold onto air.

The eastern Europe trip was amazing and fabulous. I am definitely a 'cruise convert' - it IS the only way to vacation....there have never been so many people so interested in my happiness all of the time. There was the 'little' incident at the end of two days in St. Petersburg where the Russian mafia decided I was a perfect target and pick-pocketed my fanny pack and got my camera - so all of my pictures for the first half of my vacation are lost to some idiots in Russia....I showed them, I bought a new camera on-board the same night!!! I loved Estonia (Tallin) - it was a picturesque European city, like you would see in pictures and/or paintings....and I did some great shopping! Berlin was amazing - especially from a historical perspective - to walk though the Brandenburg Gate and lean up against the Berlin Wall and walk around Checkpoint Charlie - somehow it was really profound - as a woman who remembers the weekly air raid drills in grade school, it was really quite something.

Work on the house continues - actually I've almost decided it is never ending. Most of the outside work is done...well, not really - I'm getting new handrails for both the front and back steps, and a new rail around the perimeter of the front porch, that will happen in the next couple of weeks. I've picked the shingles and skylights I want for the roof - but that needs to wait for the reno on the attic to begin....and Friday I did select a contractor, so hopefully, that will start sooner rather than later. Next year I will get an awning for the front porch - continue with Scott's lawn care and the landscaping - and that will pretty well close the loop! Well....there is the matter of the driveway that is going to need attention eventually - yeah, it just never ends!!!

Health wise, I've been hanging in there - after the Europe trip I was a little out of commission for about a month - some kind of 'bug' got me, and it was wicked. The infusions every 28 days (there's that 28 day number....!!) are really kind of miraculous. This last month the last two weeks or so were more difficult that others, I'm not really sure why - but Wednesday was infusion day and I'm feeling pretty good now!

In September I became a Grandma again - this time a little boy! Next month I'm going to Texas to meet the little guy and spend some time with my girls!

The demo/construction next door is starting in earnest - and soon the Gunn gang will be moving in, as my two year old niece says, "aventure"!!!! Sometimes it's hard - as the screened in back porch fell to the ground....but, it is a wonderful thing for my sister and her family, and for the first time they will really be able to create their own home.

Soooo...time just keeps marching on - it can't be boxed up and saved for later - you gotta grab it while it's here!

Ready, Set, Go...Go...Go...

as my almost perfect niece Sara would say (hey - you gotta allow for Jesus when you're talking perfection!!!)!!!!

It has been craziness the last week or so - but at least I have something to show for it!!! I have beautiful new windows - the inside of the windows is all wood, and is currently naked - but a painter can fix that!! The French doors are beautiful - and they didn't crack the plaster, not one bit getting them in!!!! The custom router/mill work on the interior window frame is amazing - it is so close to the original woodwork....I couldn't be happier!!!

My front door is beautiful - though it has a cheesy handle/lock right now - they sent the wrong 'guts' to the handle that I ordered....so - the door locks and that's what matters. The storm doors and back door are OK too....but that front door, it's dynamite!

So...this morning as we were leaving the homestead the guys were back working on the garage gutter/soffits - yeah, should have been done when the house was....but, yours truly neglected to contract for it - and therefore, it didn't get done!!!! So, better late than never - and as my brother pointed out to me - he (nor I) can really remember gutters being on the garage - ever!

Now - I'm in the Windy City - actually in a suburb thereof....waiting to fly out tomorrow evening, direct flight to Copenhagen - there for 3 days and then set sail on Saturday!!!! I can't believe that all the pieces have fallen together and I'm actually going to do this!!!! I am so, so, so looking forward to this trip!!!

When you have to tote around all this crazy medical gear there is just no such thing as 'traveling light' - as my sister would say, it's a very 'high maintenance' operation! The real dilemma is the weather - the 'highs' this time of year in all the places we're traveling to is 65-75, so you gotta dress in layers....and then there are always those 'outlier' days when it might be 80 or another where it could get all the way up to 50 - there's no clear cut solution, say like you'd have in the Caribbean!

So, right now we're kinda biding our time - I'm excited about this trip, but already know it will be good to come home to family and friends!

Fireworks, Symphony Music, and Naps.....

This long holiday weekend, for the first time in I can't remember how long I've been alone - I mean sans anyone else in the house with me, and an empty house next door....it is scarily quiet and I don't think I want a steady diet of it!

My sister and her family left for Pennsylvania (with both of her in-laws too) on Thursday afternoon - and Amy, Rob, and Sara are likely somewhere in eastern Ohio on their way home (if all went according to plan, which can be a wild card!).....my sisters FIL will be returning the day before I leave on my big vacation.

So - what to do with all this solitude....!!!??? Friday I celebrated the Fourth in true red, white and blue fashion at Connor Prairie and Symphony on the Prairie with a purely patriotic repertoire, it was great. Dinner was furnished (even better!) - complete with fried chicken and apple pie!!! I had a great time, a relaxing evening with great friends and music - it was cool but not cold and slightly overcast, so we didn't get blinded by that western sun - the way you look to be facing the orchestra!

Yesterday was errands...all vacation related!! Got some new spiffy red luggage - do you know how many people have blue and black luggage (including me?!?!?), so hopefully my new pieces will stand out a little more at the Copenhagen airport in little more than a week! Then I went to Borders and got some more travel books - the ones I got early this winter were pretty generic, this time I knew better what I was aiming at - now that I have some itineraries for tours and such - also picked up a Sue Grafton paperback for an 'easy read' book, and am taking The Reason For God - Questions in an Age of Skepticism. Brenners luggage was a stop - luggage tags and TSA approved locks, also got a Baggalini tote bag (my aunt in Chicago got one for Christmas to take on the trip and showed it to me...lightweight and nylon and folds into a pouch that's about 4"x4"), and a new travel umbrella that I've needed for some time, this just feels like the best excuse to get one!!! Then, what is a shopping outing without a stop at Target - needed some household essentials (I never like to have less than 4 rolls of tp!!!), travel Scrabble for the plane ride and ship, and some hygiene items for the trip.

Today has been a strictly at home day - and boy is it quiet - have I mentioned I wouldn't want a steady diet of this....???!!! Laundry going and started taking a serious inventory of the clothes I have for the big trip....and I'm not sure but I think I've got everything I need, and then some!!! AND....BONUS...I took a nap today - had a headache, took some Aleve, and slept for an hour and a half, now I feel great!

Need to pick up my favorite red cocktail dress from the dry cleaners, to take for one of the formal nights, and call the oxygen company to come fix my at home concentrator tomorrow. Tomorrow is also the big beginning of the new window installation - I'm not sure if I'm really ready for this, but I certainly am ready to get it done. They are also suppose to come the first of this week and do the guttering/downspouts/soffits on the garage....forgot to contract for that when I did the house.

So the deafening silence will be broken - and I'm good with that....miss that bundle of energy known as my two year old niece!!! And though it has been an odd July 4 holiday, since no time was spent at the lake this year (construction has begun!!!), it has been a good holiday, if not a little too quiet...have I mentioned how quiet it's been????

Clear to Me...

As I 'mature' it has become clear to me that in fact there is very little that is 'clear' to me - some might call it a life lesson, for me it is more of an annoyance.

One thing that has become clear to me is that God created woman to have children at a younger age for a very good reason....prime among them endurance and stamina!!! Don't get me wrong - the weariness experienced with interacting/caring for a 2.5 year old and/or a 9 year old is the best kind of tiredness there is - BUT God in God's infinate wisdom made those of us who are wiser and more mature grandmothers and aunts....or grandfathers and uncles!

A little over a week ago I returned from Texas and Isabel, my oldest granddaughter came home with me. Isabel is 9 years old and the most delightful little girl you would ever want to meet....and smart - oh my gosh, it's a little fightening.....between Isabel and Sara I feel like I need to go back to school to keep up with them - let alone be a step ahead of them!!!! It makes me wonder it my Mom felt this way when we were younger.

The great thing about kids is that they give you the perfect excuse to do things you might not otherwise do - we've been to the Children's Museum, the Zoo, the 500 Museum - with White River State Garden and the Indiana State Museum are on the horizon...and another day at the pool.

Yesterday Isabel and I drove up to Chicago - a three hour car trip is an eternity to a nine year old....we can all remember those days!!! To be nine and able to sleep in the car - ahhh, just another thing we don't appreciate at the time!!!

Today we are going to go shopping for a baby gift for my cousin Susan's baby boy, at Oakbrook I think, and then we are headed for a graduation party at my close friend Lori's house - her youngest son graduated from high school. Tomorrow I hope to take Isabel into the city and do something - maybe Navy Pier or the Shedd Aquarium....or/and the American Girl store, if I can find it. Monday we head home.

To keep life really interesting the work continues on the house....the concrete has been poured and the muratic acid applied....they will have to come back and apply the sealant. The gutter/soffit/siding project is 2/3 done, with the gutters to go up next week - it's amazing what a difference the siding makes. The window project should commence in the next couple of weeks...and then the major outside projects will be done.

Amy and Sara have 'moved' back to their house - Amy wasn't promising on a permanent basis, but that is not a problem....truth is I miss having them around (even though they live just next door!) - there is nothing like a 2 year old for a reality check!

Ahhhhh....to be young again and have that seemingly limitless energy......

Neck Deep.....

For all those who really know me, it's a pretty well established factoid that I'm no Tim the Tool Guy Taylor!! I can find the business end of a hammer, screwdriver, and wrench....or gardening tools....BUT when it comes to home improvements, it's just not my gig - and guess what - it NEVER will be!!!!

Soooo....picture this middle aged woman 'wheelin' and dealin' with various ilks of contractors!!! In the past couple of weeks window/door/wrap; gutter/soffit/shake siding, and concrete/all walks/all steps/front porch contractors have been added to the payroll. I've learned how to fake my way though a good window conversation, so, I don't sound like a total moron; know far more about concrete aggregate than I ever wanted to know; and, have quite good conversation skills when it comes to gutter/soffits/and shake siding!

You want to know what a real revelatory moment was....too bad, I'm going to tell you anyway - when you buy a door, it DOES NOT come with handle/door knobs/locks!!! Who knew...clearly, not me!!! Riddle me this, is a door REALLY a door without handles/knobs....isn't it just a slab of wood or whatever they make them out of these days?!?!?! The new front door I bought, I absolutely love, love, love it....and well I should, holy crimeny, the thing should automatically open and close for me!!!!

Sometimes I hear myself talking and wonder...who is this woman!!! Just little ole' me!!!

Have been able to spend more time with Sara the last few weeks, and it's been great! Last week had her all day on Tuesday - and ditto for tomorrow. She is quite the little spitfire - and will tell you exactly what is on her mind, I can't imagine where she gets that!!! She is so smart and funny, sometimes it's a little scary - and boy, does she know how to bat those big brown eyes of hers!!! Sara gives the best hugs and kisses ever - she really does make my heart happy, she is really a little blessing.

On to see what kind of mischief I can get myself into - I paid bills this morning, so I think I'm entitled to a little mischief!!!!

A period or a semi-colon???

Today is an odd day of sorts....I'm not sure if we are putting a period or a semi-colon in a chapter of our lives.

It is a day of relief, mixed with anticipation, throw in a little excitement - then frost the whole mess with some sadness and that sums up this day....a little odd, don't 'ya think?

Today is the day we truck back down to the far Southside (think Greenwood) to meet with Big Red (aka: the trust/estate attorney hired by my parent) to take distribution on the trust. I'm not sure if this will be the 'final' distribution or partial distribution, I'm hoping it's final so I can be done with Red and so this emotional roller coaster can be done. Therein lies the conundrum of period or semi-colon.

The 'stuff' the trust represents will be used wisely and for the betterment of the lives of each of us and our family and families - we owe that to our parents' memories and ishow we were raised. I and feel confident of this, having some idea of the plans each of us have - CJ is totally redoing the lake a place both Mom and Dad loved - a new year 'round house is taking shape to be built this spring/summer and last year the new boardwalk and boathouse. Amy and her family are living in the 'family house' now and they are taking on what feels like the most onerous project - remodeling and building on to the place....oh my gosh, what a project!!!! Me, I'm going to do some remodeling around here at my house, but am waiting until Amy and Rob's project unfolds....we need at least one house in 'working order'! Saying all of this and knowing it is my intellectual self talking, on the emotional side it feels a bit like casting lots over the 'stuff' Mom and Dad worked a lifetime for - yet, when I snap back to reality I know that this is what they wanted for the three of us and what really counts and matters are those eternal gifts of being taught to be good citizens in our family and the world; and, most importantly their love.

So - yeah, it's an odd day - like so many of the odd and crazy days of the last several years....is there really still such a thing as "normal"?????

TICK TOCK...

OK - let's get on with it....TICK TOCK....I'm leaving on a jet plane in a few days and have not departed the hospital gate as of yet!!!! In fairness - he doesn't keep me one more day than is necessary, and I know that. Luckily, I anticipate packing for this trip to be fairly easy.....jeans, crop pants, a pair of shorts, rain coat, undies.....

Ordered the oxygen concentrator and am a bit anxious that it will arrive prior to my departure....it just has too!!! Well, not really, I guess, but that is the way I feel about it.

Had lots of visitors this weekend, and that was nice. Some of my favorite people from church...Margaret, Barry, Jan, Scott (who brought the fabulous Chang's!!!!). Richard mosied up yesterday with a cup of summertime....Steak and Shake strawberry yogurt shake....ummmmm, what's not to like!!!

I can't believed how jazzed I am about going to 'the happiest place on earth'....it's like my 'inner child' is in overdrive. Hopefully, someday I will make the trip again with Sara, Amy, and Rob - Sara would take the place over!!!

It IS February....

Well, let's make no mistake about it - it IS February in the great heartland of America! Yesterday it was spitting snowflurries - and today we're looking at snow melt....AND then tomorow snow again!!!

This being in the hospital on a monthly basis really sucks - especially when it is taking a week and more out of every month - ARGH.

Yesterday was a little hairy. Ron Burwinkel feels at this point I'm deveoping cor pulmonale (right sided heart fairlure) on top of the CHF (left sided heart failure) that we already were aware of. So, yesterday was spent scurrying around the hopsital getting scans, x-rays done - have blood work done and starting a big urine collection......so much for going home today!!!

I CANNOT, CANNOT, CANNOT wait to go to Florida - I get on the big jet plane a Wednesday! Then, I can begin thinking about my great summer vacation....a REAL vacation!!!!

Amy, Rob, and Sara came up on Monday afternoon.....there just isn't much that makes me happier than having my niece come running at me full tillt, saying 'Ant Ansey Pants...." with that big beautiful smile on her face.

Lots of friends from church came to visit yesterday - and it was great to see them all. Richard and Paul stopped up, and I'm so glad that they did - they are such great guys and funny....oh my gosh!

Not exactly sure what today has to hold....one day closer to getting out of here!

Nanci

A Good Whine.....

OK - get ready, and hold on to your hats for a little self indulgent whining - which might be helped along by a little wine from the vine, but it's way, way too early for that and I don't think it's on the menu here!!!

Went to the MD yesterday morning for this little upper respiratory 'thing' I've got....in my orbit of the world - there is not a "little" upper respiratory thing!!! So.....as my friend Mary Katherine predicted (she brought me to the MD, I really felt like crap) I got admitted to the hospital.....grrrrrr, argh, damit, and anything else you'd like to throw in there. After I 'caved' and said "ok" to coming over to the 'slammer', I reminded him "tick, tock - I leave for Florida two weeks from today!!!!" Really, this is more about getting me 'tuned up' and able to breathe without sounding like a symphony of respiratory sounds: wheezing, rales, and rhonci!

Called Amy late yesterday afternoon....she had taken Sara to the MD and Sara has pink eye ---- just perfect!!!! I'm sure it makes Amy a little crazy, having accepted the Manager's position at Riley - but I'm really proud of her, she's got her priorities right, her family is first.

Walked outside yesterday to go to the MD and was suprised that we had gotten as much snow as we had - 2 - 3 inches. It's cold, and more snow is predicted, with a little ice and sleet thrown in for good measure. This weather is very reminiscent of the weather a year ago, when Dad was declining and the day he died. Sometimes it bothers me that I seem to miss him more than I did Mom immediately after her death (I'm making up for it now!!) - but, after Mom died, Dad became my/our full time project, and then his health really started to tank 5-6 months after Mom died....so, I do 'get it'.

Hope that Sara rebounds quickly and her little eyes stop 'oozing' - now there's a picture for you!!!!! She is 'da' best thing to hit this family in several years - being with her and just watching her (she's begun to 'toy' with the adults in her life!!!!) - there is no way you cannot believe in the goodness and love of God.

Ramblings in February

It's February - yeah, I know, we're half way through the month - anyway, it's gloomy and raining here today, somewhere in the 50's....and tomorrow, well we're going to have snow showers - it's the Twilight Zone of weather. Perhaps the weather in part explains why I have the mother of all colds/the flu, which of course has settled in my lungs - for the love of it all....enough already. Today I've become a wheezing machine - the good news is: at least I'm moving air....the bad news: I'm wheezing in the small percentage of my lungs that 'work' right. So, I'm spending quality time with my nebulizer and oxygen, taking the antibiotics, and praying tonight is a better night. I guess the 'good news' is that I'm getting this now and not when I go to 'the happiest place on earth' in a few weeks.....but this was no where on my radar.

Last night at dinner I asked Amy if she remembered what she was doing on this date many years ago....she paused and thought about it and then said "ohhhhh...." Yesterday was our wedding anniversary - the 16th and a Saturaday - it is so hard to believe that Vance died almost 11 years ago - in some ways it feels just like yesterday, and in other ways - it was a lifetime ago.

Then, a week from today, on the 24th marks a year since Dad died. There are times, I swear he's here - and my brother CJ sounds like my Dad it is a little freaky sometimes when he calls, I've started to call him Dad more than once before I snap back to reality....then there are those moments I hear "Nance, have you thought about......" - well no, of course I hadn't -- my Dad was the only one who called me 'Nance'. I like to think of all these things as gifts, but sometimes it just gets a little weird. The other day I was coming home and turned into the alley, a female red cardinal 'guided' me all the way to my drive way....Mom loved cardinals, especially in the wintertime when things are so bleak, for me it was/is a sign, Mom is still watching out for all of us.

Random

So, here are some random thoughts and observations from my little corner of heaven.......

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You need a vacation from planning a vacation to Disney World!!!! Leave for the happiest place on earth March 6 - am meeting up with Tabitha and Will and the three granddaughters....the girls have no clue about Disney, or that Grandma will be there!!!! BUT....yipes - I'm now convinced you could spend a month there and still not see it all!!! :) Think after several hours of reading and coordinating yesterday I finally have a handle on this - now need to talk to Tabitha just to make sure everything is 'covered' and coordinated in a way that everyone will do OK with - when you throw a 8, 4, and 2 year old into the mix planning ahead really is your friend!!!

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Today is a red letter day around here!!! Sara is going to get her first hair cut!!!! Amy is going to get her hair done to, so Aunt Nanci gets to tag along, so there is supervision for Sara, so Amy can maybe enjoy her hair cut!!! Rest assured, I will be taking a camera to capture this big moment!!!!

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On the news last night there was a story about 3 guys who were canoing on White River in the Carmel area - are you kidding me. White River and several other rivers are flooding right now, so these three jokers think yesterday was a pick day to canoe. Now, stupidity isn't a crime - BUT, when you put others in danger (the fireman guys who were the rescuers) because you are an idiot - well, that's a different story.

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Well....all my light fixtures have been delivered and installed - and look fabulous, just ask me! All that remains to be done is to take delivery of a chair for my desk, and a new painting for over the fireplace....and framing and matting of some black and white photos of family, I still need to find and select!!!

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I've really found myself missing Mom more. Maybe because the dust is settling for the first time since she died and I (well, really, none of us) had a chance to grieve her death after she died - taking on Dad and caring for him became the next full time endeavor - Mom was the only one who really knew how to wrangle him....anyway, here I am a 50 year old woman really missing her Mom. Somehow, I think there is a part of me that will always miss Mom....and Dad too, for that matter.

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Life is way too short to sit around feeling sorry for myself - I have an amazing family (if not a little quirky sometimes!) and THE best friends ever....a roof over my head....food in my fridge and pantry....comfy new furniture.....some money in the bank...and a God that never fails me - so really, I am blessed beyond words.

Argh.....2008....how can it be???

Clearly, it is now a well established factoid that I am NOT a stellar blog poster!!! Not really a New Year's resolution to improve on this - resolutions are esentially made to be broken, at least in my experience - but, I am very hopeful that my posting frequency will dramatically improve during 2008!!!!

Yeah - it is 2008, and that is pretty hard to believe - where did December go....answer, I spent 11 days in the hospital, let me just say that eats into a girls Christmas shopping, Christmas partying, decorating, blah, blah, blah.....though I was fairly satisfied with myself, managed to get my Christmas cards out, shopping done, and everything wrapped all by Christmas Eve. Yeah, I almost broke my arm patting myself on the back over that one!!!

Back to the 'slammer' (aka: hospital) January 7...for another 10 day stint - you know the world is spinning a little weirdly when the dietician is in my hospital room because I've lost more than 10 pounds in a month....I keep telling people there is an 'upside' to everything!!!! Anyways got to come home last Wednesday....

Thursday Amy, CJ, Sharon and I were off to the Hope Masonic Lodge in the 'metropolis' (NOT!!) of Hope, IN....for the auction of Dad's farm land. None of the three of us has a farming bone in our body - though, after playing 'Oliver' (think Green Acres!) Ketner for the last year, CJ might have a shot at it!!! It was pretty emotional for all three of us - one parcel of land is where my great-grandfather/Papo was born, and was very special to my Dad. There were over 80 people at this auction - a BIG turn out, according to those in 'the know'....the auctioneers and my Dad's brother (Uncle Paul) and his wife (Aunt Judy). The auction went well, according to my aunt and uncle they are not aware of any farm land that has sold as well....my uncle told us if we weren't "happy" with the outcome then "you're crazy"! Okey, dokey - and 10-4!!!!

Quite frankly, I'm just trying to get my head around all of this - I need and want to be a good steward of this gift - and really, let's be honest - any and all of the financial assets I/we have inherited are gifts. It's all a little overwhelming for me (a feeling I don't like much at all....although, Amy and Sharon have assured me that they won't let me do anything 'stupid'!) - so, I'm trying to do some reading to get myself 'smarter' and need to get reconnected with my financial planner, and may even interview another planner that has been recommeded to me.

That being said...today I spent some money!!! Got a dying tree taken down out of my front yard and another tree pruned an shaped up. Bought new light fixtures for the dining room, mantle sconces, front entryway, and back hallway. Then....I bought a new tv for the living room - a 46" Sony, 1080dpl, flat panel, HD-LCD number complete with Blu-ray DVD. The tv is to be delivered tomorrow, the lights are on order and should be here in 2-4 weeks and then they will install them and the tree work is all done.

Oh yeah....and I'm going on a Baltic cruise this summer - with Mom's brother and his wife, Mom's sister and her husband, two of my aunts' daughters (one my age/divorced the other a couple of years younger than Kathy and I/never married), and then a couple or two who are friends with my uncle and his wife. We sail in and our of Copenhagen - A) because I can, and B) because I'm not likely to be in that part of the world again!

So, I'm trying to get myself 'back in the groove' of living....have an MD appointment Friday, they're keeping a 'close eye' on me. Want to get back to Texas, at least for a few days soon....did I mention....Tab and Will are making me a Grandma again!!!!! :)

So - here I go, headlong into 2008!